Ever wonder why we so often don’t follow through on the goals we set for ourselves? Or why it is so easy to slide back into our old habits?

One part is neurological: our brain is full of established neural pathways that get larger the longer we reinforce the same behavior.

The other part is not having clarity on our values.

We can have all of the “right” motivation, including a strong infrastructure of smart goals, and even an accountability partner, but if we do not know our values like they are our guiding light in the darkness, then our strong neural pathways will continue to override every decision we make.

The “special sauce” for building new neural pathways is getting into the nitty gritty of our underlying selves. A few ways of doing this:

• Remember when you were a kid and kept asking your parents “why?” to the point where they often gave up and said, “because I said so?” Take a page from that book and use it now: Ask yourself why, answer, then ask why again. Do this until you learn something about yourself [or have gone crazy].
• Think about what is most important to you. Then ask: what about it is most important? What value is that?
• Check out this values list from Brene Brown and write down what stands out to you. Then put them into categories: Essential Values and Aspirational Values. Essential Values are core to who you are every day - they are your decision making pillars. Aspirational Values are values that may be important depending on the situation and may not apply everywhere, or may be values you want to add to your Essential Values list.
• Think of a habit or trait you want to rewire. For example: showing up late to meetings. What is the underlying value from that habit? In this example, it could be flexibility. What is important to you about flexibility that is contributing to showing up late to meetings?
• Ask yourself: What values are you holding onto that may not accurately reflect who you are now?

Values can ebb and flow through life, and it is important to revisit these types of exercises periodically so we can better understand where our motivation is coming from. When we take action from a values-based position, we are much more likely to succeed in whatever it is we are trying to do.